🔥 Bones Circuit ‘25: Post-Canada SPICE INFERNO 🌶️

If Canada gave us maple syrup, this race gave us cayenne straight to the corneas. Buckle up—this recap is molten.

🎯 Bones Challenge – Deities of the Circuit

We have a tie at the top and it’s spicier than a Montreal poutine doused in jalapeño gravy. The Bones Challenge continues to separate the heroes from the humble, the tacticians from the clueless, and the gods from the squirrels.

  1. ⛈️ Ciao Baby 4 – 52 points
  2. ⛈️ Raging Thunderstorm – 52 points
  3. 🎥 Race Highlights – 48 points
  4. 🧊 Maxwell Verstappuccino – 38 points
  5. 🍸 Dirty Hamiltini – 39 points

🥶 Who's Still Freezing?

Still at absolute zero:

  • 🚫 Nina’s Javelinas
  • 🚫 Servette FC

🏁 Fantasy Top 10 (Now Properly Heated)

  1. 🥪 Piastrami’s On A Roll – Rank 1
  2. 👑 Lando Cal-rizz-ian – Rank 2
  3. 🍸 Dirty Hamiltini – Rank 3
  4. 💋 Ciao Baby 4 – Rank 4
  5. 🧊 Maxwell Verstappuccino – Rank 5
  6. ⛈️ Raging Thunderstorm – Rank 6
  7. 💀 Mr. Bones – Rank 7
  8. 🎮 MaxVerslappen – Rank 8
  9. 🛸 The-Landonorian – Rank 9
  10. 🎥 Race Highlights – Rank 10

Nina’s Javelinas remain a pit stop behind everyone. It’s like they brought a tricycle to a street circuit.

👑 Bones Legend – Rank Royalty

  1. 💋 Ciao Baby 4 – Rank 1
  2. ⛈️ Raging Thunderstorm – Rank 2
  3. 🍸 Dirty Hamiltini – Rank 2
  4. 🧊 Maxwell Verstappuccino – Rank 4

🍼 Rookie of the Year Watch – It’s Nuclear Tight

  1. ⛈️ Raging Thunderstorm – Rank 2
  2. 👑 Lando Cal-rizz-ian – Rank 5
  3. 🎮 MaxVerslappen – Rank 8
  4. 🧠 vcuEvan’s Team – Rank 12
  5. 🫠 Servette FC – Rank 20
  6. 😶 Kim’s Krewe – Rank 22
  7. 🫥 No Stoppin MaxVerstappen! – Rank 23

The top 3 are breathing each other's exhaust fumes. It’s a photo finish every week.

💰 Podium Pick Challenge: WE’RE UP TO $6! 💰

  • 🤑 That’s SIX $1 bills. That's double a triple scoop of value.
  • 💅 You could treat yourself to six soft-serve cones or two fancy ones.
  • 🐍 A deluxe snake puppet, with googly eyes and a built-in hiss.
  • 🎯 FOUR claw machine attempts. That’s four heartbreaks or a plush miracle.
  • 📸 One novelty photo, one fridge magnet, and a regretful sticker.
  • 🎈 Six balloons. Or one balloon animal and one balloon sword.
  • 🎲 One pristine board game from a thrift store. Probably Monopoly. Or Boggle.
  • 🚀 An NFT of a raccoon driving a go-kart. (Probably not valuable, but it’s $6!)

The Pot Is Hot. The Streets Are Watching. Get in now.

🏆 Trophy Case

Former Fantasy Champions

  • Barclay G – '21 & '22
  • Will B – '23
  • Karina R – '24

Bones Challenge Champions

  • Ariana B – '23 & '24

Bones Legend

  • Ariana B – '24

Rookie of the Year

  • Jacob M – '24 (Tie)
  • Francisco M – '24 (Tie)